2013

HIIIII... I'M BACK I'M BACK I'M BACKKK! YES ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I WENT AWOL, BUT HERE I AM NOW WITH A NEW POST AND I'M BACK FOR GOOD NOW!
(AND MAYBE I SHOULD TURN OFF THIS CAPS LOCK)

hihihi, I'm sorry with those abusive caps lock, but i cant help those excitement and i feel ENERGIZEDDDDDD. okay now *napas nady napas*, yes now I'm back and this is officially my first post in 2013 (eventhough it is march already, so sorry >.<). Guys, even though i feel so happy to be back here, i dont have anything to be shared.. (again, I'm sorry.. my excuse is gue terlalu bersemangat sampai gue bingung harus ngomong apa hihihi)lets see hmmm apa aja yang terjadi di tahun 2013 ini yaa..


- single. Yes,walaupun beberapa kali berganti-ganti pacar, tapi di tahun 2013 ini lah gue bener-bener single. I feel like I'm detoxing myself from a creature called man. i'm letting them go out of my system and wont let them get me down and desperate. and for the first time, i feel single and care-free.

- family comes first.  last year, i feel like i pulled myself away too much from my family. and i feel so bad udah kayak anak ilang. Tapi sekarang, di tahun yang baru ini i try to make up for it.. menjadi anak yang baik dan ngerawat bokap nyokap. I'm sorry fammiesss..

inti dari apa aja yang terjadi di tahun 2013 itu ya yang diatas ini.. simpel kan?!

NOW, let me give you a quick update from whats happening last week with pictures. 

thats a quick recap of what 2013 has bring to me. lets see whats happen next okay...

life the way it is

I cant believe I'm saying this, but I would shamelessly shout that:

I MISS WRITING AND I MISS YOU my dearly beloved blog. 

but.. I'm not sorry for abandoned you for so long, though. why? because i think i have a pretty good time. Not much, but enough good time. I went to new places, and have a new activity (well.. more like permanent activity.. but more to that later). So yeah.. good time and bad time happened.

   *> btw, i found it a wee bit troublesome juggling my english. If you find terrible grammar here and there, please just sigh deeply and ignore. or leave a comment of correction if you would, but dont judge, I'm a grammar-bitch.

Actually, i dont really know what to write, but i had this urge to pick my old new-journal that I bought  a month ago (which i initially bought to write anything down) and slit the plastic cover off. As i wrote my name down in the first page, i had this blast of memory about this blog, how i always write anything about my life, so here I am now.. babbling about it.

you gotta count your blessing right? even the tiniest littlest one. So here is mine: I got a new desk, which big enough to put some of my recently-read books, and anything i need in a hand-picking range. I persuaded my old folks to buy me a proper desk, which i can sit to study in a sitting healthy position, even though i'm still stuck in browsing junk, but at least one post of this blog is successfully posted in this very desk right?!

pictures upside were taken by my iphone and edited with pixlr

those are the sneak peak of my table. a books, water jug, flower panting, my macbook, and my pixar desk lamp (which i love so much).

I miss this good time, when I can browse through pages on internet, blogging, and listening to my playlist on itunes for hours. just like those time when i was unemployed. hihihi.

 

A confuse love

Dont say love, LOVE IS OVERRATED.

Love is just an excuse of being lame. An excuse to have a sexy time. An excuse to buy a chocolates and flowers. An excuse to cry and to hear some stupid silly song, and including making stupid poems. Love is just a man-made celebration, they make it seems all LOVEY-DOVEY, but FORGET  to tell you THE RISK IN LOVE. LOVE can  makes you feel so small and inferior to the one you called lover. Love is just an EGO, ego of wanting someone. Love is just an excuse to have a partner. Love is an excuse to have someone, and have someone to have fun with.

Love is not even real. LOVE IS JUST AN EGO. 

People think they believe in love, they think Love is the one that make them happy. NO IT DOESN’T. BECAUSE its not the love that makes you happy. The feeling of winning someone, the feeling of having someone to drag along everywhere, that’s make people happy. AND THAT’S NOT LOVE. THAT’S AN EGO.

LOVE is just something people spread like a virus. They spread it as if love is something people need in their love, like people desperately need to be in love. APPARENTLY people don’t need love. People only need the attention, and partner to have fun with. And then again, THAT’S AN EGO.

LOVE is just some silly excuse TO BE MAD at other people. An excuse for twotiming at the same time. An excuse to betray other people. AND also an excuse to HATE OTHER PEOPLE. And when SOMETHING (CALLED LOVE) makes you HATE others, THEN THAT IS NOT LOVE.  THAT’S AN EGO.

IF LOVE IS REAL, then it only makes you weak. HURT YOU SO BAD that you don’t wanna live in this planet anymore. IF LOVE IS REAL, then it only makes you so STUPID, that you close your EYES AND EARS to the fact that your lover only PLAYED  you all along. IF LOVE IS REAL, then your TEARS is the silent-prove of how YOU DON’T NEED ONE. IF LOVE IS REAL, it’s not supposed to stab you in the back. BUT LOVE DID STAB YOU, not only in the back but also right in the heart. BLEED you to dead, and leave you rotting.

I DON’T BELIEVE IN LOVE. I believe people need partner in life, but I don’t believe in LOVE. The partnership people need is NOT BASED IN LOVE. The partnership people need is based on mutualism.

Here’s one ULTIMATE QUESTION:

How can you HURT someone you claimed you’re in LOVE with, just to protect someone (that you said you’re not in loved with) of being hurt??????

Isn’t  it IRONIC?

I told you, LOVE IS NOT THE BASE of how people conduct their way of life. Because people do what they wanna do, ON THEIR OWN BENEFIT. LOVE is just another way to gain something in life easier. LOVE is just like a hooker on a street: gave you something, just to get so much more in return.

LOVE is something that ruins YOUR WHOLE LIFE.

And LOVE is just an excuse. Something to blame to when everything not goes on your plan. SEE? I ALREADY MAKE AN EXCUSE OF MY RAGE, AND I BLAME IT ON LOVE. 

I think I don’t need love and I wont believe it a second, if it only hurt me right in the heart.

Pagi

Hal-hal seperti apa yang kamu mimpikan tadi malam sehingga membuat mu terbangun di pagi ini dengan bersungut-sungut?

Atau ketika kamu tidak bermimpi, mengapa kamu harus marah-marah di pagi yang tidak salah?

Hal seperti apa yang pertama kali kamu lakukan ketika terbangun dan menjejakan kaki mu ke lantai di pagi hari? Kenapa lalu kemudian mencari alasan untuk mencaci?

Atau hal yang tidak kamu lakukan lah yang membuat mu kesal dan menyesal?

Saya rasa, Belum ada alasan untuk marah. Hari saja belum memutuskan apakah ia akan suram atau cerah.

Kenapa tidak membiarkan dirimu tersenyum saja dipagi hari, walau kamu tau seburuk apa hari mu itu akan menjadi.

few words

Date & Time : May 30th, Wed, 4:43 PM

Place : That's Life Coffee

(Finally somewhere quite)

Ngga pernah sebuntu ini.. Waktu jaman skripsi pun tinggal comot sana sini, bermodalkan koneksi internet berkecepatan standar dan perpustakaan penuh literatur-literatur berat yang isinya juga bukan sembarangan. Tapi ketika justru ingin menuliskan hal-hal random justru ngga kepikiran. Thats how my mind tricked me. Scumbag Brain!!!!!

Sebelum bulan ini usai dan berganti menjadi juni, marilah kiranya kita melayangkan doa bahwa bulan besok menjadi bulan yang dinamis, produktif, ceria dan penuh berkat. Apapun yang terjadi. 

Moving On. 

bring it June.

himym reference

I was reading this review on the How I Met Your Mother blog about the last episode of season 7. And somehow, some point slapped me right on my face, which is when the writer puts his final thought about this particular episode. 

Here's the part:

" ....

Dear Ted,

What do you know about Victoria, buddy? What do you really know? 

Here are some objective facts:

You knew her for two (three) months before she left for Germany. She was weak willed and girly enough to pull the, “since you asked me to stay I have to go” crap. Fine. Neither one of you thought enough of each other to stay faithful. Keep that in mind. Off she goes, what could have been? You two had a connection, I’ll give you that, but you spent six years thinking about the idea of each other, not actually who you really are. You don’t know each other, you cannot know someone in two months. Period. Then, you bump into her at a thing or something, and wait for it…she cheats on her fiancee with you. Sorry, making out is cheating, buddy. She’s right about Robin, but a broken clock or person is right at least once a day, if not twice. Flashforward to today, her fucking wedding day of all people, and she pulls the girly “you decide” crap and you make the wrong decision…more of that in a minute. But she is with another dude for six years and leaves him at the altar for a guy she doesn’t really know?

Who is this person?

She’s fucked in the head, buddy. Robin is right about one thing; you keep going after the wrong women.

And here’s the worst part, Ted.

This was done to you. You actually acknowledged this, you said the words, and then you changed your mind. I thought you grew up, buddy; you haven’t yet. I hope you come around and do the right thing. Victoria is not the angel you think she is. She’s a twisted, sad screwed up person just like the rest of them; at least Robin admits it and is actively trying to change. For that, Robin has my respect. You do not.

You keep forgetting to enjoy the ride. Forget to do so, and you’ll keep making mistakes and people will keep getting burned.

 ....."

 

Somehow i feel like it was written for me, not Ted. 

That I keep on chasing on a wrong guy.. Keep on making mistakes.. and forget to enjoy the ride. 

living large

new member of the family, Jessica Renata Pardede

we love you!
even though you steal my holiday.. :)