March

I can't believe it is March already. that time of the year, at least for me. 

I didn't blog a lot on late February, nor on early March. But I think this post can still be considered as a greeting to this month, and also a quick update.
HELLO MARCH!

not so much a progress on scholarship department, neither on fitness department.

I was having my TPA (potential academic test) and TOEFL on 5 and 6 March, that consumed all of my time and energy. 

lucky for me, even though i took both tests yesterday, I already have both of the scores their need to pass this stage, and I'm hoping nothing goes wrong with it.

On a fitness department, I try to change my goal. which is more focus on living a healthy life instead of getting skinny or losing weight. hitting gym regularly, cut some carbs, infused water, juicing, and cut snacks are my daily aspiration. 

Haven't hit the boredom yet, thank God for that. so I guess everything still in a pretty good place.

I also try the organics, like chia-seeds, organic veggies, and oats. Let see if they are any good.

Work stuff starting to consume my time, so I haven't got any chance to travel, but I already bought plane tickets and hotels for mid year  Bali getaway.
A one week getaway with ER. 

I can't wait to sleep, eat, rave, and repeat. Like we just did last year at the end of the year. :) (I'll fill you with details about this holiday later okay.)

I told you earlier that March is kind of that month of the year rite? It is actually because last year many important events happened in this month, which is:
1. My little niece Jessica born in March
2. I met my boyfriend and we officially dated.
dont you think it is something? Well, it definitely something and thus, to me this March bring me something to celebrate about.  i used to hate the first semester of the year (you know January, February, March, April, May, and June), and in loved with the rest of the year. But March brought something to balance things out, and now I'm starting to feel good about this year :)

Cheers to another good days.

Glimpse of last friday night

 

first, me and le boyfriend went to a new upscale bar slash restaurant named Hyde in Kemang. I've been bugging my boyfriend to go there since i dont know when. but we never had a chance until last friday night.

I've been really curious about their dessert named Choco Soil and to me, it was a satisfactory. i like it!

and i also try their special cocktail named Sip and Go Naked, the name is overrated though. I can barely taste the alcohol in there.

After Hyde, we went to another bar named Cowboys Kemang, the name a little bit tacky in my opinion, but the interior brought my to Cowboys era in America, also their customer are mostly a foreigner. Decided to not drinking, I only ordered sparkling water. Highlight about this bar, there was a band playing, even though it started late at nite.

wake up call

just when i feel this urge of a little brag about going abroad pursue my scholarship, i stumbled into this page and found this:

“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money .’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil.” James 4:13–16

such a wake up call to remain humble and full of hope. 

Waiting in vain

Matthew 26:39 
He went on a little farther and bowed with his face to the ground, praying, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” 

Beberapa minggu ini, dan sepertinya sampai beberapa hari kedepan, perasaan saya pasti bener-bener tidak karuan, mood pun mau tidak mau jadi terpengaruh dan jadi super sensitif. Saya rasa ini ada hubungannya dengan proses seleksi beasiswa ADS / AAS yang sedang saya jalani. Detik-detik menunggu pengumuman yang tidak pasti kapan, menunggu kiriman email yang entah isinya diterima atau tidak, dan hal-hal seperti tersebut sebelumnya benar-benar menyiksa! Ini yang benar-benar dinamakan waiting in vain.

Ya, saya memang meng-submit diri saya untuk mengikuti seleksi penerimaan beasiswa Australia Award, tepat pada tanggal 18 juli 2013, yang merupakan hari terakhir pendaftaran beasiswa AAS. Tanpa berharap banyak, dan tanpa memberitahukan ke keluarga maupun ke teman-teman saya kalau saya sedang apply beasiswa. Alasannya? Jujur, karena saya takut gagal. Dan seiring berjalannya waktu, saya tidak berharap terlalu banyak dengan beasiswa ini, apalagi dulu teman-teman IALF sering cerita kalau AAS memang lebih mudah, tapi saingannya sangat banyak. 

Bulan pun berganti dan tanpa adanya pengumuman apa-apa dari AAS, saya pun lupa sama sekali dengan aplikasi saya. Sampai pada akhirnya di pertengahan bulan Desember tetangga datang mengantarkan surat dari panitia AAS yang datang dan dititip pada beliau karena pada saat itu rumah kosong. Dengan tangan gemetar saya buka amplop putih itu, dan ternyata isinya menyatakan kalau saya masuk dalam Shortlist, disertai dengan jadwal Tes IELTS dan wawancara JST pada bulan Januari. Puji dan syukur saya panjatkan. Karena masuk shortlist membuka jalan saya selangkah lebih dekat dengan mimpi saya. (dan denger-denger, bagian tersulit untuk mendapat beasiswa AAS ini adalah justru tahap ini).

Akhirnya memasuki tahun 2014, saya mulai mempersiapkan diri saya menghadapi tes IELTS tanggal 9 dan 11 Januari dan interview JST pada 16 Januari. Fokus saya pun lebih ke IELTS karena menurut saya yang harus dipelajari banyak: reading, writing, speaking, dan listening. Banyak sekali cobaan dari mulai mencoba belajar sampai pada hari H tes. Seperti iblis lagi mencoba mengusik emosi dan mood saya menghadapi tes. Dan memang saya sempat down pada hari H, tapi saya mencoba mengatasi mood saya dan menyelesaikan tes yang ada dihadapan saya.

Seminggu kemudian, pada tanggal 16 Januari 2014, saya menghadapi interview JST. Cobaan kembali datang karena minggu itu adalah dimana sedang diadakan Rapat Kerja Nasional BPN 2014 di Ancol dan saya menjadi panitianya. Malam sebelum interview, saya tidak baca apa-apa, saya bahkan tidak tahu apa yang harus saya persiapkan, sehingga akhirnya pada saat interview, menurut saya kurang memuaskan. bahasa inggris yang digunakan seadanya, dan saya sempat lupa universitas yang saya ingini. hadeuh.

Nah, baru-baru ini hasil tes IELTSkeluar dan ternyata saya masih mendapat band 7 (yeay!) walaupun terdapat band 5 pada materi writing. tapi setidaknya itu masih masuk kategori lolos IELTS. jadi sekarang saya tinggal bergantung pada hasil interview JST, apakah saya berhasil memikat kedua interviewer saya atau tidak.

Sekarang setiap kali saat mendengar maupun melihat apapun yang berbau Australia, hati saya pasti sedikit ketar-ketir dan pikiran saya kembali ke aplikasi beasiswa saya. Saya tidak pernah menginginkan sesuatu sampai seperti ini. Banyak hal yang saya rela korbankan untuk keinginan saya yang satu ini, tapi saya tahu kalau saya harus berserah dan mengembalikan ini kepada Tuhan. Karena sebagai manusia, segala usaha yang saya harus lakukan sudah saya lakukan, dan saya tidak dapat melakukan apa-apa lagi selain berdoa dan menunggu pengumuman yang sepertinya akan keluar dalam minggu-minggu ini. 

So.., Your will be done. 

i just came to say Hallo o o o o

bubbye 2013, hallo 2014.

me walking forward to a better 2014 (bisa aje nad). finn's beach club,  Dec 2013.

This is my first post on 2014, and hopefully not gonna be my last. :)
I hang so much hope on this year. I even write those hope in almost every notes i got, just to be a soft reminder and a kick in a butt to not be a lazy ass. gotta werk it.

These are my wish list on 2014:
1. A scholarship abroad. This is my top priority. Not my goal, but my ultimate dream. And to conquer this dream, I applying in some scholarship program. I failed at first, just because some policy at work that requiring all applicants to have work at the institution for 2 years minimum (which i have not -yet). Not to be a failure, I applied again to other scholarship from Australia, which I passed the first administration qualification. And will have an interview in a week later.
I just hope God bless everything and be with me always in every step i take.

2. Reggae Bar Project. This is my project with le boyfriend to open a reggae bar because we saw a huge opportunity with it. Knowing that he has a connection with reggae community and also knowing jakarta has zero number of a reggae bar. A laid back up-scale bar that friendly to all range of customers. This project is a working-progress. Hopefully.

3. Tie-the-knot. well this dream were always in top three. but this year, it is in number three. because of this master degree i plan to have before all the wedding and family fuss.

Those are my top three wish on my list. The others are just some same wish i keep praying: like my mom's and daddy's healthiness, my working performance, my health, sisters' family, brother school and success, le boyfriend master program, his working plan. In addition, i also wish to get closer to my maker, and I hope this year i can maintain my relationship with pray diligently, read bible daily, and so on.

I also want to be better at crafting and home decoration. this luxury requiring a very diligent ass, which i have not gotten yet but trying to getbe one. Even maintain this small blog is tbo a pain in the ass sometime.

To sum up my 2014 goal, is BEAT THIS LAZY ASS OF MINE.

oh and the title came from Martin Solveig's hallo which were on repeat when i wrote this note. Toots!

One fine day

Phatong-Phuket, september 2013

Free Shots

---- Forwarded Message -----
From: me
To: myself
Sent: Thursday, September 27, 2013 8:51 PM
Subject: day four

September 21, 2013

I dozed off almost a half day. Literally. Bf tried several times to wake me up but i waived. 

Lucky we didn't book any trip for today. So i can crawl all day. 

On 12am i made a sudden move, stood up, and walked straight to the bathroom, because i didn't wanna waste more of our precious last day on phuket. 

Plan is to go to Big Buddha. 

The high light of this site is the location which up on the hills and to get there, you have to ride your motorbike steeply uphills.

The big buddha is a site of a huge statue of buddha. Actually it still under construction and expecting the visitor whose mainly a tourists, or buddhist, to contribute in anything they can financially, to finish all the construction work. You can buy souvenirs, or you can buy a plate of ceramics which you can write anything on . The money will be use to contribute on the constructions. The ceramic plate will also be used to cover the wall of Big Buddha. Mostly, couples buy a plate and write their names on hope their relationship will be forever stated on Big Buddha, means, their relationship will be forever as well. Well, we didn't buy any, so do not expect to see our names later on the wall. 

After Big Buddha, we rushed to pathong to catch the sun. And we managed to absorb a little of phuket's sun to take home tomorrow. Unfortunately, when the sun were setting, a huge cloud covered the sun. So we missed the sunset. But thats okay, because the night was finally falling. And it was saturday night. I didn't want another hang-over morning, so i planned to just enjoy the night with drinks and musics. bf approved. 

After strolling beach road and bang la, we went to some weird clubs just to feed our curiosity. But after stumbled upon a strip club, we decided to take a couple shots of teq, which 6 shots for 100 THB. We went to Koh Bamboo again to enjoy some reggaes. Lucky that in this bar some customers rang the bells which mean a treat of shot for every guest. Twice. 

But after i finished the last drop of my drinks, i stood up and asked my bf to take me back to our hotel because i can't handle it anymore. I didn't know why, but i was not feeling good. Felt all chilly, and cold sweat started to drop. I even asked to stop before reached our motorbike, and sat on the side of the road. Bf panicked. 

But unlike last night, i was fully aware of what i felt and did. 

Result is: i still didn't know what is my limit upon this alcohol

Yes, sire. i'm that pathetic. 

But i'm proud. ;)

Sleeping dead

-

---- Forwarded Message -----
From: me
To: myself
Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2013 8:51 PM
Subject: day three

Encoutered the same problem of visiting and writing on this blog, but I fight my procastinatorism and try to finish my Phuket journey. So.. please enjoy my day three.

September 20, 2013

I barely remember what happened last night. But I woke up early and did walk against gravity to the bathroom preparing for our tour to phi-phi island that we planned and booked yesterday. Yippie.

Supposed to be picked on 8 am, but we have to waited until 9 am. Apparently, the bus driver were already downstairs, but he (or some one on receiption) our room but failed to tell us in proper English that the bus was waiting. So miscommunication happened, and we awkwardly enter the bus full of angry caucasians.

After picking up another tourists, we went to the pier. Welcomed by a local tour guide, we have to waited for another school of tourists before we enter the boat. After awhile, we went to our boat. And boom goes the boat.

The boat ride was not a lovely ride. Some tourists barfed. Some tried to sleep. I kept looking to the horizon to keep my inside. Luckily it worked.

I don’t need to explain the tour, because I can’t remember the name, and I was to focused by the beauty of it. You can google it if really want.

After the tour finished and back to hotel, no time to bed. we took a bath and got ready for night life. The plan was to bar hopping all night. I know it was not my scene but there’s Phuket and Bang La for a reason. And that night, the reason was to get me wasted (somehow I need to know my limit with those shooter, and let loose).

We went to some bar with live music. First we went to Red Hot bar, where the band was really attractive and sang a nice collection of musics. Totally recommended. But if you’re more into reggae music like my bf -which starting to get into me- you’re going to love Koh Bamboo Bar right in front of Red Hot bar. I, myself really had a nice time in this bar, I almost asked my bf to take me to Equal Park (his regular reggae bar in Jaksa – Jakarta).

He must be a proud bf if I finally says it.

The bar hopping route was: Red Hot – Koh Bamboo – Holywood – some other clubs I didn’t give a damn whats the name – Tai Pan

The result was I slept like a baby.

No. I slept dead. like real dead.

i got banana

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: me
To: myseld
Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2013 8:51 PM
Subject: day two

September 19, 2013

Woke up pretty early considering tucked in so late last night. We walked straight to the beach but managed to rent a motor bike on our way. Rent a bike is the cheapest way to take, 200 TBH for 24 hours. but we need to give our passport or 4000 TBH as a collateral. we gave our 4000 TBH, because we were to scare of the idea not holding our passport with us, plus its good that we can keep our 4000 TBH somewhere for later, considering how we spends our bucks.

So off we go!
first stop: a decent breakfast. Initially, we wanted something that screams thailand, but as the hunger growls, anything just good enough. so, we had breakfast on this pretty little restaurant. I actually can't remember the name of the restaurant but the food was average-ish. so the hell with names.

After spoil our tummy, we off to beach named pathong beach. rent a cabana for two for 200THB and I stripped off to my orange bikini and soaked up the sun. I was not looking to get colored. I just love to sleep under the sun, with the sound of the sea. It really was an intoxicating experienced. In fact, i hate the wind there which blew cold wind. It confused the sun ray.

next, after the wind has gotten a little colder, we went to other beach named karon, kata, and kata noi. To us, kata noi is the nicest beach among others. less crowd, and no noisy sales girl and boy offering us anything they can offer. i just love kata beach. it has the perfect composition of sun, and wind. the sands is nicer too. (remember how i hate the sands? still has it)

had late lunch in this small restaurant on Karon main street. that serve food with a free really cold water. and the price was just perfect which took 100THB for two. happy tummy happy money. can't tell you the restaurant though, because it is so small, it doesn't have a sign.

back to hotel, to get ready for the night in a infamous bang la road. plan was to get drunk at a bar and enter a club. and we were. after bottles and cocktail, we had an arguement, that made us drove back to hotel in silent, but managed to resolve and back we went to bang la.

8 tequila shots and we went to banana club to get banana.

and of course, i got banana. xx

ho li day

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: me
To: myself
Sent: Tuesday, September 24, 2013 11:38 AM
Subject: day one

September 18, 2013

no work today. on leave till September 20 just for this vacay with roma (bf). Yeay.

the plan was made on early may, so we already lose all the jitters and goosebumpy feeling along the waiting days. 

had only excitement now. AAAKKK

but unlike all my previous holiday, i didn't do my research about this destination: Phuket.

spontaneous.

Was not a bumpy flight ride, but 3 hours flight of full fight and debate between me and bf is tiring. 

and as soon as we step on thailand territory (well, not quite, since we haven't enter the immigration) we made peace. and kissed.

as soon as we passed the immigration, we were got a welcome gift (at least it was for me) which is free sim card for tourist with a data package, only need to top up which we can do in the nearest convenient store. this is a very wise thing. 

For the transportation, instead of taxi, we took a mini bus for 180THB a person straight to our hotel, Renoir boutique hotel. the driver didn't say anything, not even asked for our hotel. we just waved our tickets and step on to the mini bus. 

we sit tightly in a back corner with other people luggages. because that is the only two-seater left.

We made a stop first at the travel agent and this local asked for our hotel, and offered us some of the tour they have. after that, the driver drove us to our hotel. it was late at night and our hotel not anywhere near the center of nightlife in pathong, so it was rather spooky, and it is thailand, so it is not your fault your imagination getting a little wilder (in a scary way). 

Our hotel the Renoir Boutique Hotel was nice. considering we gambled our luck on agoda, this hotel is not as we expected it would be. Yeah outside was not really convincing, but the room is comfy and all parquet, with a big flat tv and huge queen sized bed. so, all is well. totally gonna put a good recommendation about the hotel on some travel websites!

this first night, we took a stroll to the beach (after had a (frozen) food from 7-eleven). local beers and a bucket of margarita from VW bar on the beach are highlights of this evening. 

tuk-tuk took us back to our hotel for 200THB (expensive)

i dozed off with smile. zz

2013

HIIIII... I'M BACK I'M BACK I'M BACKKK! YES ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE I WENT AWOL, BUT HERE I AM NOW WITH A NEW POST AND I'M BACK FOR GOOD NOW!
(AND MAYBE I SHOULD TURN OFF THIS CAPS LOCK)

hihihi, I'm sorry with those abusive caps lock, but i cant help those excitement and i feel ENERGIZEDDDDDD. okay now *napas nady napas*, yes now I'm back and this is officially my first post in 2013 (eventhough it is march already, so sorry >.<). Guys, even though i feel so happy to be back here, i dont have anything to be shared.. (again, I'm sorry.. my excuse is gue terlalu bersemangat sampai gue bingung harus ngomong apa hihihi)lets see hmmm apa aja yang terjadi di tahun 2013 ini yaa..


- single. Yes,walaupun beberapa kali berganti-ganti pacar, tapi di tahun 2013 ini lah gue bener-bener single. I feel like I'm detoxing myself from a creature called man. i'm letting them go out of my system and wont let them get me down and desperate. and for the first time, i feel single and care-free.

- family comes first.  last year, i feel like i pulled myself away too much from my family. and i feel so bad udah kayak anak ilang. Tapi sekarang, di tahun yang baru ini i try to make up for it.. menjadi anak yang baik dan ngerawat bokap nyokap. I'm sorry fammiesss..

inti dari apa aja yang terjadi di tahun 2013 itu ya yang diatas ini.. simpel kan?!

NOW, let me give you a quick update from whats happening last week with pictures. 

thats a quick recap of what 2013 has bring to me. lets see whats happen next okay...

life the way it is

I cant believe I'm saying this, but I would shamelessly shout that:

I MISS WRITING AND I MISS YOU my dearly beloved blog. 

but.. I'm not sorry for abandoned you for so long, though. why? because i think i have a pretty good time. Not much, but enough good time. I went to new places, and have a new activity (well.. more like permanent activity.. but more to that later). So yeah.. good time and bad time happened.

   *> btw, i found it a wee bit troublesome juggling my english. If you find terrible grammar here and there, please just sigh deeply and ignore. or leave a comment of correction if you would, but dont judge, I'm a grammar-bitch.

Actually, i dont really know what to write, but i had this urge to pick my old new-journal that I bought  a month ago (which i initially bought to write anything down) and slit the plastic cover off. As i wrote my name down in the first page, i had this blast of memory about this blog, how i always write anything about my life, so here I am now.. babbling about it.

you gotta count your blessing right? even the tiniest littlest one. So here is mine: I got a new desk, which big enough to put some of my recently-read books, and anything i need in a hand-picking range. I persuaded my old folks to buy me a proper desk, which i can sit to study in a sitting healthy position, even though i'm still stuck in browsing junk, but at least one post of this blog is successfully posted in this very desk right?!

pictures upside were taken by my iphone and edited with pixlr

those are the sneak peak of my table. a books, water jug, flower panting, my macbook, and my pixar desk lamp (which i love so much).

I miss this good time, when I can browse through pages on internet, blogging, and listening to my playlist on itunes for hours. just like those time when i was unemployed. hihihi.

 

few words

Date & Time : May 30th, Wed, 4:43 PM

Place : That's Life Coffee

(Finally somewhere quite)

Ngga pernah sebuntu ini.. Waktu jaman skripsi pun tinggal comot sana sini, bermodalkan koneksi internet berkecepatan standar dan perpustakaan penuh literatur-literatur berat yang isinya juga bukan sembarangan. Tapi ketika justru ingin menuliskan hal-hal random justru ngga kepikiran. Thats how my mind tricked me. Scumbag Brain!!!!!

Sebelum bulan ini usai dan berganti menjadi juni, marilah kiranya kita melayangkan doa bahwa bulan besok menjadi bulan yang dinamis, produktif, ceria dan penuh berkat. Apapun yang terjadi. 

Moving On. 

bring it June.

himym reference

I was reading this review on the How I Met Your Mother blog about the last episode of season 7. And somehow, some point slapped me right on my face, which is when the writer puts his final thought about this particular episode. 

Here's the part:

" ....

Dear Ted,

What do you know about Victoria, buddy? What do you really know? 

Here are some objective facts:

You knew her for two (three) months before she left for Germany. She was weak willed and girly enough to pull the, “since you asked me to stay I have to go” crap. Fine. Neither one of you thought enough of each other to stay faithful. Keep that in mind. Off she goes, what could have been? You two had a connection, I’ll give you that, but you spent six years thinking about the idea of each other, not actually who you really are. You don’t know each other, you cannot know someone in two months. Period. Then, you bump into her at a thing or something, and wait for it…she cheats on her fiancee with you. Sorry, making out is cheating, buddy. She’s right about Robin, but a broken clock or person is right at least once a day, if not twice. Flashforward to today, her fucking wedding day of all people, and she pulls the girly “you decide” crap and you make the wrong decision…more of that in a minute. But she is with another dude for six years and leaves him at the altar for a guy she doesn’t really know?

Who is this person?

She’s fucked in the head, buddy. Robin is right about one thing; you keep going after the wrong women.

And here’s the worst part, Ted.

This was done to you. You actually acknowledged this, you said the words, and then you changed your mind. I thought you grew up, buddy; you haven’t yet. I hope you come around and do the right thing. Victoria is not the angel you think she is. She’s a twisted, sad screwed up person just like the rest of them; at least Robin admits it and is actively trying to change. For that, Robin has my respect. You do not.

You keep forgetting to enjoy the ride. Forget to do so, and you’ll keep making mistakes and people will keep getting burned.

 ....."

 

Somehow i feel like it was written for me, not Ted. 

That I keep on chasing on a wrong guy.. Keep on making mistakes.. and forget to enjoy the ride. 

living large

new member of the family, Jessica Renata Pardede

we love you!
even though you steal my holiday.. :)

locked up

after having a bit "here and there" week, now i'm pretty locked up. why, you ask? parents. Yep, i feel like a child again for having them near me. and like an early teenager, my Emotion remains unstable. I could be crazy fun at a time, and with a blink of an eye, i can be mad angry.

this kind of thought also happen to make a real cloud upon my head when i'm thinking about the placement later in the mid year. Whether I, a jakarta-born, pontianak-raised, bataknesse, Jambi-identification card-ed (if there such a thing?!), and recently living in Jakarta for almost 6 years now, will be placed. is it in the headquarter or some where rural in the deep of Indonesia. or.. back to my parents (as my identification card were made from) in Jambi (you might google-earth this place :)) which I'm not really sure if this is a good idea. the thought of being a kid again in the family is hauntingly haunt me. Surely living with them will get me some kind of privilege economically, but.. i just want to stand on my own two feet, and having my own choices, and.. okay i admit, i just wanna be free. and live my own life.

Not that i dont love them. I love my parents wholeheartedly. I do :).

love is (not) overrated

Valentine sudah lewat, tapi kata beberapa orang skeptis "tiap hari adalah hari kasih sayang, kenapa harus merayakan satu hari bernama valentine", walaupun realis akan menjawab "tiap hari sayang ibu, kenapa harus ada hari ibu?!" Yah.. apapun itu, tidak pernah ada kata terlambat untuk mengucapkan happy valentine!

Berkaitan dengan valentine, saya sedikit terganggu dengan jawaban-jawaban semacam "ga ngerayain valentine". that's a bit insulting. Valentine kan bukan kepercayaan, its just a moment to show more of love and care to others. Sama halnya seperti tanggal hari jadian, dimana pada hari itu kamu dan pasangan akan menunjukan hal-hal yang lebih romantis. Dan dengan merayakan hari jadi kalian bukan berarti di hari-hari lain kalian tidak menunjukan sayang satu sama lain kan?! So get over it people. valentine is only a date peoples pick to celebrate love, if you have love, you'll respect it. What's with love is getting thicker in the air for a day? Thats a really nice thing in this fucked up world.

Maaf ya saya sedikit terbawa emosi..

Yaa, emosi saya bisa dibilang cukup labil dalam beberapa hari terakhir.. kalau kata seseorang yang saya kenal, setelah putus saya jadi meledak-ledak. Am I? Maybe, idk. Menurut saya, satu minggu merupakan minggu yang sangat berbeda, kenapa?

1. Being Single

Mulai dari tanggal 12 februari, saya officially single. I dont know what to explain about this state of mine, yang jelas cepat atau lambat hal ini akan terjadi, i only need to push the button. So yeah, i'm single. For a week, i carry this new status of mine with a big grin and happy heart, but i dont know from now onward whats gonna happen, for a young woman who never singles for the past four years, am i gonna miss something?

2. Social life

If i am a sims, my social life bar would be a really buzzing with bright green now. Since i broke up, this week full of meet up with different peer of mine. From an accidental bumped with junior high school besties, to a well-planned college gathering, even i need to put some dates on hold. Also family is happen to be in town, so i actually never feel alone.

one of the picture

3. Feist

Yeah baby, Feist was not just happened to be in town. I bought the tickets month ago, planning to go with my boyfriend. But hence the break-up, all plan was ruin, including this. Kebetulan sekali salah satu sahabat saya pernah bilang "Nad, kalo lo tiba-tiba berantem ato putus sama ciko, puhlease tiketnya buat gue" So, lucky bitch was lucky, she tagged along, and I'm more than thankful having her beside me. Hmmm... what can i say about this gig, well, i was so awe by her performances. Leslie Feist is so pretty dengan vokal yang jernih dan tebal. she didnt put that much effort tapi berhasil menghipnotis penonton (oii penontonnn!!!). Yang saya tahu sebelumnya, tidak ada opening act malam itu, tetapi secara tiba-tiba, tepat pukul 8pm Erlend Oye from Kings of Convenience, naik ke panggung dan mulai memetik gitarnya. He sang some songs i dont even know (but i bet no one there knows ;)) up until he sang close to you from The Carpenter. it was hypnotic. And he closed his performance with the famous Cayman Island. Pretty Cool Erlend.

              Pada tepat pukul 9 malam, Leslie Feist muncul, dan dia menyanyikan beberapa lagu dari album terbarunya Metals. Saya yakin saya pernah dengar lagunya sebelumnya tetapi tidak begitu faham. Kecuali untuk beberapa lagu seperti the bad in each other, the circle married the line, graveyard, dan how come we never go there. Selebihnya saya mencoba menikmati.. Namun, Feist juga menyanyikan beberapa lagu dari album lamanya Let It Die, seperti Mushaboom, So Sorry, My Moon My Man, Sealion, Honey Honey, When I was a Young Girl, dan lain-lain. Tapi tapi tapi, bagi saya gong nya tetap ketika Feist masuk ke backstage dan keluar lagi bersama Erlend Oye, dan mereka menyanyikan lagu favorit saya: THE BUILD UP. and i was so happy i wanna cry. --> lame.

Feist with the Mountain Man

The Duet

I surely have more numbers to say about that previous week, but i kinda lost words here. and i need some beauty sleep. Jadi cukup sekian dan Terimakasih.

ps. Sorry for the mixed of using bahasa dan English. pfft.. Indonesian.

#Lovegarage

Have I told you that i was attending an annual gig in my town? not that i annually come to this hype, but apparently i came to this one this year.  and It was quite a blast! Lovegarage was an event brought by Ismaya live and Dimension Events, and held on February 5th and 8th, a celebration of love, live and music. For someone who claimed herself as a beat-less girl -Yes, i thought i didn't have a beat in my blood- i can say i moved pretty good and i had a good time. HA!

Blame my stupidity for left my wallet and my tickets at home, so i was come a bit late, and missed several performance, but i just in time for Bag Raiders!! so that was still a yayyer. Initially I was only wait for a shooting star. But this two-headed succeed to pump the crowd with all their songs. including moi.

Bag Raiders, a duo from Sydney, NSW

After Bag Raiders, there was Rory Phillips on stage but I spent time during his performance to explore the venue, the night market, where you can find booths from local designer like a mini brightspot market.

When clock strike 10pm Royksopp ruled the stage, actually I'm not hipster enough to know all their singles, but since they were the main artist in this event, nothings wrong to catched up. They were playing remind me and several other songs until what else is there? the song i was rooting for but didn't expect to be played that night. The point is that song was a good closing for me. then i left. :) 

Royksopp, Norwegian electronic music duo.

I took some liberty to took pictures with my iphone, but not a show-off material. Unless it's okay with you.. here they are:

And on next wednesday: Feist!

Pencitraan

Precaution I might sound a bit sarcastic or a jealous bitch, or a hypocrite or simply  nyinyir. Tetapi saya akan tetap berusaha mencoba menyampaikannya dengan sudut pandang yang seobjektif mungkin. Chill.

Pernah merasa terganggu dengan pernyataan-pernyataan orang disekitar anda? Dimana anda merasa bahwa omongan-omongan yang mereka sampaikan murni sekedar bluff, dan anda mengetahui tentang hal tersebut. Hal ini merupakan hal yang sangat mengganggu. Walaupun tidak mengganggu secara langsung, tetapi tetap saja proses penyampaian omongan si besar mulut (baik pernyataan yang diikuti dengan kebohongan maupun pernyataan yang dibesar-besarkan) ini dengan keimplisitannya bikin kuping panas, dan membuat pendengar seakan-akan menjadi ratu nyinyir. Masih untung sekedar nyinyir, belum nyolot.

Apa sih namanya ketika seseorang mengeluarkan pernyataan-pernyataan perihal dirinya atau lingkungannya atau hal-hal apa pun yang terkait dengan dirinya dan kemudian melebih-lebihkan fakta yang ada.. lebay? well obviously. Bluff? of course. Pencitraan? selfbranding? imagebuilding? Yes Yes Yes. Semuanya lagi-lagi bermuara ke pencitraan.  Apa sih sebenarnya pencitraan itu? Mengapa semakin kesini, istilah pencitraan semakin santer terdengar? Apa karena media jejaring sosial yang semakin marak dan memberikan kesempatan kepada penggunanya untuk memperoleh pengakuan, dimana status update merupakan suatu bentuk pengaklamasian diri dan seolah-olah berteriak “ini lhoo gue!”? Kalau ditilik-tilik, ngga ada yang salah dengan pencitraan, semua hal di dunia ini memakai topeng-topeng pencitraan kok. Liat aja iklan-iklan di media komunikasi, semuanya mengiklankan produknya sesempurna mungkin, padahal banyak kebohongan dan cacat tersembunyi dibaliknya. Melihat sekilas latar belakang dari pencitraan tadi yang sudah dikenal lama, memberikan kita patokkan untuk kemudian tidak mengkambinghitamkan social media yang telah menjadi bagian penting dalam gaya hidup manusia. Karena, bukan social media inilah yang mendorong manusia untuk melakukan apa yang namanya pencitraan, tetapi memang sudah sifat dasar manusia untuk memberikan citra-citra tertentu ke sekitarnya.  Pertanyaan selanjutnya, pentingkah?

Basicly, I’m not against this image-building, self-branding people, and please set aside my daily life and my twitter-self for awhile. Cause I know, I myself might build an image-branding system (HEY gua bilang kan EVERYBODY DOES – saya tidak menyalahkan pihak tertentu). Tapi sepenting itukah sampai seseorang harus berbohong dan mengeluarkan uang yang tidak sedikit untuk membentuk lapisan-lapisan selfdefense atas pencitraannya ini? apa tidak lelah dan mahal hidup penuh pencitraan semacam itu? Memang terkadang, orang yang terlalu lama hidup dalam pencitraan, mendapatkan apa yang dia inginkan, citra diri orang lain terhadap dirinya sesuai dengan keinginannya. Well, to those people, Hat’s off. Congratulation. Tapi ada juga orang yang jatohnya malah gagal dan hidup dalam bayang-bayang pencitraan dan menutup pencitraan itu dengan kebohongan-kebohongan yang semakin tebal. Ini dia nih yang kasihan. Intinya adalah, people nowadays tend to build an image, and sometimes, this image is just a mask to cover their true insecure and low self-esteem inner-being.

Orang-orang semacam ini bisa kita temui di sembarang tempat. Colek saja sedikit, biasanya mereka akan sangat bawel betapa fabulous dan nyaris sempurna-nya gaya hidup mereka. Dan ketika mereka menemukan masalah, nahh, sama saja, mereka akan menyampaikan bahwa masalah mereka adalah yang terberat. ngga ada yang ngalahin, mereka deh yang paling-paling. Kalimat yang biasa mereka gunakan itu biasanya:

"Kalau gua lebih parah lagi...bla bla bla..."

 

And to me, this kind of people, gimana pun mereka menciptakan cover-cover pencitraan, tetap saja keliatan dan tetap saja gengges! Duh, malah semakin DROP.

DROP DROP DROP!

It's not racist, It's marriage

Disclaimer: still, this post might be a little bit racist

People says, women has a quarter life syndrome. well, mine begin at 23.

Datang ke beberapa acara pernikahan dalam beberapa hari terakhir, merupakan rambu-rambu peringatan yang sedikit menampar saya, lampu kuning yang menyuruh saya untuk mulai berhati-hati. Membuat saya mau ga mau harus berpikir tentang masa depan saya. Bukannya saya ignorance akan hal ini, tapi saya belum memikirkan hal yang menurut saya masih terlalu abu-abu untuk dibicarakan. Umur saya saja belum seperempat abad. Sampai kemarin, pernikahan adalah hal nomer kesekian dalam rencana jangka panjang saya, berada pada posisi persis dibawah beasiswa S2, rencana jenjang karir, dan investasi tidak bergerak (okey saya mulai delusional, tapi serius lho ini).

Sampai kemarin, saya tidak pernah memikirkan untuk settling down, dan masih ingin bersenang-senang, yang mana merupakan salah satu alasan yang mengakibatkan saya memutuskan hubungan saya dengan pacar 'serius' saya kemarin. Ya, rumah tangga merupakan hal yang terlalu menakutkan buat saya. Tetapi, menghadiri pernikahan mau tidak mau mengingatkan saya bahwa saya harus mulai serius memikirkan hal itu. Terutama mengingat standar-standar yang saya cari dari seorang calon pendamping cukup sulit. Banyak yang tereliminasi.

Saya bukan perempuan yang muluk dalam mencari pasangan, bahkan cenderung klise.. Tapi bagaimanapun standar yang diberikan orang tua mempengaruhi standar saya. Ini lebih ke pemaksaan sih, walaupun saya tidak pernah memberontak dan memaksakan kehendak saya. Untuk urusan yang satu ini, saya lebih memilih untuk mengikuti keinginan orang tua saya. Ya begini kira-kira urutan dalam kriteria saya memilih pasangan:
Standar utama
1. Kristen (masuk akal)
2. Batak (mulai sedikit rasis)
3. Batak toba (arrgghh!!)
4. Syarat-syarat tambahan, semacem baik, sayang, mau bekerja keras, pintar, rupawan, dan lain-lain merupakan syarat tambahan yang hanya akan dilihat apabila ketiga syarat sebelumnya sudah terpenuhi.

Sebenarnya saya tidak merasa terbebani dengan prasyarat yang diberikan oleh orang tua saya, karena saya sendiri sebenarnya tergolong fascinated by the beauty of batak tradition, especially when it comes to the bonding of the family (which i bet every other culture also has their own version). Tetapi yang menjengkelkan adalah saya belum menemukan seseorang yang tepat. itu dia poin permasalahannya. Mungkin ini memang hanya efek dari rentetan perkawinan yang saya hadiri, dan seharusnya saya tidak membiarkan ini membiasi planning-planning yang sudah saya buat.

Funfact #3 Call me cheesy call me cheap, for want somebody to sleep with. :p :p